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Reality TV star Jessi Ngatikaura said she felt recent plastic surgery "ruined" her life, describing the intense scrutiny she faced both on and off camera.
"I've really been struggling," Ngatikaura told her roughly 3.2 million social media followers across Instagram and TikTok. "I genuinely feel like this last surgery ruined my life."
"I know that sounds dramatic, but my whole life is my image," she explained in a video. "I am on camera, I'm on a TV show, I'm having to do press interviews, and now I'm getting ripped apart by everyone."
According to Ngatikaura, the plastic surgery "ruined" her career. "I don't feel comfortable taking opportunities, but I have to."
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Ngatikaura took to Instagram and TikTok to give fans an update on her plastic surgery results. The reality TV star has been open about going under the knife, recently explaining why she was experiencing face swelling.
"I want to tell everyone I am extremely unhappy with the results," she said in the video. "My face looks terrible, I totally agree."
She claimed she didn't exactly know what she was getting herself into when she agreed to an upper blepharoplasty and fat grafting procedures on top of a surgery she had already planned. The JZ Styles founder said she initially went in only for a lower blepharoplasty.
"I did not want fat grafting, to be honest," she admitted. "I just kind of listened to a suggestion, not really understanding what it was, what it would do, what the results were going to be, what the recovery was going to be."
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Ngatikaura said the reality of the procedures and seeing the results play out on camera hit her hard.
"When you watch Season 5, it's going to be even worse," she warned. "I look f---ing hideous all of Season 5. My face is swollen, my eyes look crazy, I don't look like how I used to."
"I'm really insecure… I understand that I look really different, and I hate it," she added. "I really do. I look back at how I used to look. I look back to Season 4, and I'm like, 'Damn, I looked really good.' I wish I could have seen that. I could cry talking about it."
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Ngatikaura is known for "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives."
The reality show follows a group of Mormon influencers and showcases their friendships, marriages and the tension between their religious community and their personal lives.
The hair stylist's personal life was thrust into the spotlight on season four of the Hulu show after she had an affair with "Vanderpump Rules" star Marciano Brunette. However, Ngatikaura claimed the affair occurred while she was "on a break" from her marriage to Jordan Ngatikaura.
Fans watched the two work through their issues on TV and the couple is still together.
